Monday, March 22, 2010

Don't Be A Dumped Boyfriend Who Does Everything Wrong

Sam was a dumped boyfriend. His girlfriend Keri had been unable to attend a party with him, but he wanted to go anyway. He ended up making out with some random girl and of course, one of Keri’s friends couldn’t wait to tell her the news.

Keri called Sam that night and told him that she never wanted to see him again. She called him a number of unprintable names as well.

Of course, Sam felt bad about the whole situation. He knew he had a lapse of judgment, but didn’t think that one evening of bad behavior should end a good relationship.

So, Sam jumped right in and tried to win Keri back. But, as we will see, he did everything wrong.

First of all, when Keri called, he groveled. Rather than apologizing and moving forward, he begged Keri to take him back. She, of course, was in no mood to do so. She was justifiably angry.

Then, he compounded the problem by pursuing her aggressively in the next few days. She got more than a hundred texts from him in 6 days. He called at least 3 times a day including once at 1 in the morning. He sent flowers to her at work.

Then, a week later, completely desperate, he went and sang love songs under her window. Her neighbors called the police.

Sam’s first problem was that he didn’t give Keri a chance to breathe. She needed some space to decide whether to go on with the relationship. And, her dumped boyfriend took that space away.

When nothing seemed to work, Sam decided on another tack. He started seeing other girls and flaunting it in her face.

Keri had a friend named Robin who never seemed to be able to get a date. Sam asked Robin out and she accepted. Then, Sam called Keri and asked her where Robin would like to go on their date. Sam thought that Keri would be jealous when she heard he was dating her friend.

But Keri was furious. She felt that Sam was taking advantage of Robin to get back at her. And, she felt Robin was selling her out. Sam was making no headway here.

When Keri started dating a new guy, Sam did everything possible to disparage the boyfriend. He tried to compare the new guy unfavorably to himself.

Unfortunately, by this time, Sam had burned all of his bridges. Keri had moved on and didn’t want to have anything further to do with Sam.

The relationship didn’t have to end like this. Keri could have forgiven Sam for his lapse at the party. But, because Sam acted like an oaf afterwards, he lost the ability to get her back. If you are a dumped boyfriend, don’t compound matters by being a Sam.

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